Church Conflict

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No one willing to talk with an African girl in church

It's Time to Talk About Racism in the Church

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“There’s an African church in another part of town. Perhaps that would be better for your husband.” That was what a lady said to me one Sunday as l was chatting with someone in the church courtyard before the morning service.
image of lady looking at a front entrance of a church

Why Is It So Hard to Go Back to Church After Getting Hurt?

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Growing up, I had always wondered why those who have left church found it hard to come back. I saw old friends, mustered pained smiles, said respectful hellos to some of the elders . . . but it just didn't feel the same.

When Forgiveness Doesn't Seem Fair

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Growing up in church, I watched people testify to what they called, “God’s grace.” From my perspective, what I saw was people sharing about horrible mistakes and poor choices they had made, and how God had seen them through the challenges that followed.

How We Can All Experience Some Good from Conflict

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Her demeanor was the first signal. The way she averted her eyes when I looked in her direction. Then, as we walked past her on our way out of church and my husband bid a friendly goodbye, her silence confirmed it—she was upset.

Why I Decided Not to Leave My Church

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The questions themselves were good, but I realized something was off the day my pastor preached about how we needed to step up as parents, and I left service wrecked with a heavy sense of guilt. You see, I don’t have kids.

3 Healthy Ways to Handle Conflict

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A few Sundays ago, an acquaintance of mine from church pulled me aside before the morning service to talk to me about a weakness in my character. She thought that l was too occupied with accommodating other’s needs in church, that I neglected my own needs.

Moving From Guilt to Freedom

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My heart was tense. I kept remembering the recent conversation with my former church leader. I had explained to her my decision to leave for a new church, and apologized for letting her down.

My Friend Left the Church Because of Me

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“I need a break from church and from y’all to think about what happened,” a good friend wrote in a text message to me one day. And with that one message, Jasmine* never returned to my church again.

How Can I Love the Church that Hurt Me?

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Seven days after I came into the world, my dad became the pastor of the church that I would grow up in. Unlike my siblings, I never knew a time when my Dad wasn’t a pastor.