Dear anxious Rosie,
You are not alone in your anxiety.
God feels incredibly far away at this moment, but the truth is, He has never been closer to you. He hasn’t discarded you because you are too difficult or too broken to love. He hasn’t broken any of His promises to you. He is holding you together right now. Don’t give up on trying to find God.
It’s usually once I’m seated in a rollercoaster, and the attendants start doing their safety checks that I’m regretting my decision to go on the ride. Panic would fill my stomach. I find it hard to breathe. I feel like I’m about to die and that feeling continues to grow as the train gradually arrives at the peak of the rollercoaster.
And that’s what my anxiety feels like.
How many people think to themselves, “I won’t walk in the park today because I might poop myself?” “I won’t drive the car because I might pass out behind the wheel?” “I won’t drink coffee because I might shake so violently that I can’t sit upright?”
It’s been a year and a half since my last burnout. I remember the tightness in my chest, the shortness of breath, and lots of tears from feeling so overwhelmed by work. After leaving that job for a workplace that I thought would lead to better opportunities, what I had expected to be a hopeful beginning soon crumbled to pieces.
What questions do you normally ask someone when you meet them for the first time? My guess is that after asking their name, one of the most likely questions you ask is, “What do you do for work?”.
But have you noticed how people often respond? Not by saying, “I work as a lawyer”, but “I am a lawyer”. We live in a world of “I am what I do”, where our identity is tied to our work.
I found myself inwardly nodding in recognition when our pastor described how some people might be walking through a dark cave with no idea where the exit was. At that time, my job was coming to an end, and not having received any clear answers from God about my future direction, I felt like I was indeed walking in the “darkness” he described.
When two sinful people work together, it’s inevitable that we’ll rub one another up the wrong way.
That’s perhaps the starting point to building great working relationships with our colleagues—recognising that challenges and frustrations with colleagues will always be a feature of work this side of eternity.
But that doesn’t mean we should simply resign ourselves to this fact and just “suck it up”. The world will encourage us to respond by moving away, and that does make sense, but it’s not what God would want us to do.
As much as we try to be there for our loved ones, sometimes the worst still happens—the one we love has taken their own life. What now for those of us left behind?
Three years ago, my brother committed suicide. Facing that was a real struggle.
I believe the grief ministry is an underrated one. Most of us are uncomfortable with loss and mourning, even as we’re called to mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15). People who are grieving also face a lot of questions and doubts, and the church plays an important role in helping people keep their faith.