Some months ago, I noticed that an acquaintance had become distant and cold towards me. When I asked about it, the person told me that it was because I had overreacted about something during our last exchange. I understood their perspective and apologised, but it became clear that a point of no return had been reached for them.
Every time I log on to my social media accounts, I spot ads like these everywhere. After seeing so much along the lines of, “Hustle, and your future self will thank you for it,” I began to feel an itch and wonder how I could increase my own wealth. Seeing how well my business and investment friends were doing, I couldn’t help but feel dissatisfied with where I was.
I was about 24 and living in the UK when I was sexually assaulted by my flatmate. By the time I got the courage to tell the police what had happened, he had returned to his home country, and there was little they could do.
Growing up as a South Asian in a Christian family in Australia, I often felt a tension between my identity and the challenges I faced at home, compared to my life outside of those walls—both literally and figuratively.
Imagine waking up each day, having no idea what the day will hold. Sure, you know that it’s a Tuesday, so the kids will be going to school, and you have work. But in reality, at any moment you could get a text that means you need to drop everything and return home.
That’s the reality of living with someone with a mental illness, especially when that person is your partner.
Leaning into my fear and embracing the adrenaline coursing through my veins, I answered the Lord and said, “Yes, I’ll go to China.”
I was 19-years-old and in my second year of college when I sensed God calling me to be a missionary. Young and naive, I had no idea what was happening when I heard “Go to China” on repeat in my head for a week, on my way to and from class, while eating meals in the dining common and when trying to fall asleep at night.
“I’m sorry, there is no cure for your medical condition.” Those were the last words I expected to hear from my doctor. I was 28 then.
I started my career as a young, zealous pastor who wanted to change the world. I wanted to do everything I could for God. But, by the second year of ministry I was battling depression and anxiety.
As a registered Christian counsellor in a private practise, I have seen and heard words and actions that are unhelpful for people battling anxiety.